How Family Role shapes you💔 : - Part 01

 How Family role shapes you💔 Part 01 —

The Invisible Damage of Constant Comparison between children especially the role of the “𝐠𝐨𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝”… and the sibling who grew up beside them.

The golden child often looks like the success story — confident, high-achieving, always “𝐝𝐨𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠.”

But behind that polished surface is a child who learned early that love must be earned - 𝘈 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘩𝘪𝘥𝘦𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘪𝘳 𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘵𝘪𝘰𝘯𝘴 𝘣𝘦𝘤𝘢𝘶𝘴𝘦 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘬 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘪𝘮𝘢𝘨𝘦 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭𝘴 𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘦𝘳𝘰𝘶𝘴. 𝘈 𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘭𝘥 𝘸𝘩𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘪𝘦𝘴 𝘨𝘶𝘪𝘭𝘵 𝘧𝘰𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘣𝘦𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘧𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘢𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘵.

And then there’s the other child — the one who wasn’t chosen for the spotlight.
👉🏻 The one who learned to stay quiet.
👉🏻 To not take up space.
👉🏻 To assume others come first.
👉🏻 To believe that maybe something is wrong with them.

Both grow up carrying invisible wounds.
𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭. 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐨𝐟 𝐛𝐞𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐞𝐧.

And yet, both deserve healing.
👉🏻 Both deserve to rewrite their stories.
👉🏻 Both deserve to know that their worth has nothing to do with performance or comparison.

Parents often forget that growing includes failing. They demand 💪victory without realizing that nothing shapes a champion better than a history of failure.
If you only allow your child to win, you are denying them the very tool required to become an authentic, resilient winner. Failure is not the opposite of success; it is the prerequisite.

➡️Few examples of how Parents should use speak positively to their Kids.

❌ Don't Say ⬇️
"Your sister finished first."

✅ Say This ⬇️
"I'm proud of how much effort you put into that."

❌ Don't Say ⬇️
"You didn't do as well as your classmate."

✅ Say This ⬇️
"What part of this was the most challenging for you?"

❌ Don't Say ⬇️
"Don't be sad, it's just a game."

✅ Say This ⬇️
"I see you're really disappointed. It's okay to feel that way."

--------

If you have been through this Trauma ⬇️

Remember; Healing begins when you slowly, gently unlearn the roles you never agreed to play.

🚫 When you stop performing and start feeling.
🚫 When you stop shrinking and start taking space.
🚫 When you stop surviving and start living.

Avoid people who say “𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐟𝐟𝐢𝐜𝐮𝐥𝐭.”
They don’t know your inner battles.

Pretending you don’t feel anger, sadness, or loneliness only buries the pain deeper — until it shows up in ways you don’t expect.

🌱 You are allowed to grow.
🌱 You are allowed to heal.
🌱 You are allowed to become someone beyond the role you inherited.

#rupeshrshukla

(My Counsellor India(MCI)
(The Mindset Trainer)
hashtag#life hashtag#trauma hashtag#student hashtag#lifeskills hashtag#psychology hashtag#parenting